Raw

I feel RAW!! I'm wondering how many more bombs life can throw at me. I wonder how many more I can take before I truly fall apart. Latest : * My car - mechanic is unable to source an engine currently + there is the estimated cost being somewhere between R15 000 & R20 000 (I'm shell shocked) * Stupid Landlord phones/emails yesterday stating he wants to sell his house. We still have 4 months on our lease. One of the conditions we had was that he NOT sell during our lease period, he assured us that he was not wanting to sell (Yeah Right!! - fell for that one didn't I) - I am not here to babysit his house while some Estate or him is constantly in and out with buyers. Tell him straight out that if he wants to sell then he must let us out of our lease - NOPE - he doesn't want to do that because we're tenants who actually PAY rent, not like his previous tenants who did not pay him for 6 months. Let's add to that that, everything he promised to FIX - he hasn't. The scale is on the Up and Up!! I'm in a food coma and my body hates me!! I feel bleghhhhhh.... I'm at the mercy of certain people and I'd rather not be. I have a School Leaving Certificate - that's it. Going back to work won't fix the car nor will it pay for the childrens aftercare, nevermind schooling. I'm stuck between a ROCK and a HARD PLACE. Going back to work creates more problems than it fixes. **sigh** I hate myself because I feel like I've failed!! Just when I thought life was on the mend, that we would recover from the past 2 years KAK (crap) - life continues to throw curve balls and I've honestly had enough. **sigh** and **sob** over & out Puncture Girl