There I am on my bike heading out on the trails. At the beginning I head downhill a bit on a 'jeep track' and I am gritting my teeth, praying to the heavens above and relying heavily on my brakes, while always reminding myself that this is the 'off-road' experience. I start to ease into it, find my faith, my confidence but it is rough going - I'm tired!! My legs are sore and they scream blue murder at anything that suggests an uphill. I start to panic - how the hell am I going to do the 94.7 cycle challenge if I can't even manage this. My thoughts are everywhere but where they should be. I do a couple of the Beginner trails and head back to base to recollect my thoughts. I've done about 3.5 km's and I feel like hell. This is NOT good. I keep telling myself that I've had a heavy week of training at the gym - I've added extra Spinning sessions....doubling up on some days. I'm just tired!!
Back at base I start losing all hope. This race takes place in just over 3 months and my mind is just not there with me. I see a hill and I panic, and added to that my legs seize up on me, I don't even need to be on my bike. I can be driving in my car and there is a hill and I'm immediately taken back to my bike and the race I have entered. It is becoming very clear that I need to begin to embrace hills, accept them and realise I can DO this!!
Hubby and I have a nice chat about my fears and the reality of the situation, it is great to bounce off ideas, thoughts with your best friend and soul mate. The truth : I NEED to get my weight down. No more messing about with food. I'd rather take the battle on in the kitchen than on the road. Getting my weight down will be half the battle done or is that won.
Ant heads out with the boys and I get a chance to catch some 'Sunshine D' and reflect. Deep down I know that I can do this and that 'fear' is getting the way. While they are out I grab some lunch, and wait patiently for them to come back. You need to be a patron Saint of Patience to head out with Josh - the little munchkin walks his bike most of the time ((smiles)). He has a fear of riding over those wooden bridges - he's working on that.
They're back and I head out with Brad. I am determined to do better than my morning session and I do. I walk less and push up those inclines and do my best to work through the burn.....oh, the burn......LOL