20 Kilograms lost (44 lbs)

It's official, I've lost 20 kilograms (44 lbs) since I started this journey Jan/Feb 2009.  When I started this journey with Weight Watchers I weighed in at 104.4 kg's, today I weighed in with Weigh Less at 84.4 kilograms.  Woohooo!!

I was only expecting to reach this mini goal next week.  Last weekend was not perfect with the Jubilate School Carnival and then on Sunday when my sticky paws landed on some fudge and then some lamb ribs.  Not perfect choices.  By Tuesday the scale at gym declared that I had picked up the weight I had lost last week (400 grams), I was going to have to work hard which I did.  I upped the cardio, slotted in some kettlebells and skipping and stuck to the plan.  This morning when I stepped on the scale - I think I closed my eyes tightly shut, not wanting to see the damage or if I had managed to make up for my bad weekend.  I couldn't believe it when I was 1.4 kg's down.  Wow!!  Hard work certainly pays off. 

This makes me almost 10kg's lighter than last year this time.  Tomorrow is the Race for Victory Race.


At the end of Race for Victory 2009


I finished this race in 3h30 or something around there.  One of my slower rides.  This year I am hoping to finish in under 2h30.  That will be something.

I rejoined Weigh Less about 9 weeks ago and since joining I have lost 7.3 kg's.  Each and every week I have lost - I am so excited.  This time around something is working.  I don't feel deprived and believe it is all about choices. 

I still have 20 kg's or so to go.  This time around there will be NO slacking off.  The best part is, is that I feel great.

Cannot wait to tell you about tomorrow's race.

Hope you're having a super weekend.

See, touch and feel - real goals

March did not exactly go according to plan.  It was so off-plan that I don't think a plan even existed, as it turns out, there was a plan and that plan involved 'self-destruction'. 

When you're the person losing the weight it is sometimes hard to see how far you have come. 

Yesterday I looked at a photo of myself and OMG - I'm still fat.  But hang-on how bad did I look 16 kg's ago, when I wasn't gyming, when I wasn't cycling...when I wasn't working at it.  There is the 'OMG' factor and there is the 'putting everything in perspective' factor

Over the last weekend I tried on a pair of 'skinny' jeans and a size 18 fitted beautifully - WOW - cannot remember when I last fitted into a size 18.  Wake-up Call!!  Woohoooo!!  BUT - I did not buy the pair of jeans that made me feel like I was on top of the world that day.  Today that changed and I walked into the store and bought a size smaller - I bought the size 16.  This is a 'do or die' moment - those jeans will fit and soon.  All of a sudden I have a goal I can see, touch and feel.  It's real!!

How to keep that goal always in sight.  Well - it's my wallpaper/theme for my Blackberry.  Yep, the new addition in my life.  Love my Blackberry.

Most definitely got the t-shirt

First there was the...weekend indulgence!!

and then there was the......getting back on....

How many times do I have to go through this routine, the 'been there, done that and got the t-shirt' routine.  Apparently these hiccups will happen and sometimes often.  I live in comfort knowing that getting back on track happens easily enough.  These days if I fall of the 'diet wagon',  getting back on the 'straight and narrow' is NO problem at all.  Relief!!

Last weekend was a 'refined carb' weekend and my stomach hated me come Sunday evening.  It hated me through Monday and then through Tuesday, but by Wednesday it felt better.  I never want to experience that again.  It was the white bread rolls that got me, the little mini caramel swiss rolls and the home-made banana bread - we won't mention all the other great picnic goodies.

I have had some deep and worrying thoughts - hating myself for my own stupidity.  Why do I want to take 2 steps forward and then 1 step or more backwards on this journey.  I am only making this harder for myself.  This week has been a battle to lose what was gained from what was previousley lost.   Confusing huh!!  To think if I had behaved myself, guaranteed the scale would be a lot nicer to me on Saturday than it is going to be now.

I need to focus.  Yes, I do!!  You see I have set myself these goals and BIG ones they are.  Even as I right this a battle is going on in my head and it goes like this:

Bad me :  Just do the 70km's, you can do the 175km's next year.
Good me :  It's not about finishing but how far you get - you can do this.
Bad me :  No I can't, what was I thinking.
Good me :  Believe in yourself, you can do this.
Bad me :  You can finish 70 km's why do 175 km's.
Good me :  Do it!!

Some days focusing on everything that can go wrong just takes over, instead of focusing on the achievements no matter how big or how small. 

Entries opened for the Momentum 94.7 Cycle Challenge and I have entered.  This will be taking place on the 21 November and this year I WILL finish it. 

I have attended 2 Spinning classes this week.  It feels great to back in the classes.  Now why did I leave - good question??  I'm just glad to be back.  It definitely helps me get my water in - through each session I drink about 1.5 litres.  Yippeee!!

Here's hoping that your week is on track or back on track.  Here's hoping that if like me you fall off the diet wagon, getting back on track is a breeze!!  Don't beat yourself up... oh okay,  I do beat myself up, let's try not to beat ourselves up too much.  That fact that when we fall, we can pick ourselves up, says so much already.

Reaching the finish line - then what?

Towards the end of last year my focus became about a certain race I had entered and my life revolved around planning for this race - the 94.7 (no finish line for me) but the BIG race was over and I was left wondering 'now what?'  All direction, all focus disappeared - a HUGE black hole appeared before me and I sank into it.  Not a good place to be.  I think my body was pushing for some time-out and that is what it got. 

With the New Year came a fresh burst of ENERGY, a renewal of sorts - a need to continue with my journey.  I entered a few more races and completed my first Century race - 103 km's. 

BUT

I got to thinking this week - I feel like I'm setting a trap for myself.  What will happen when I reach goal weight?  Am I setting myself up for a 'now what' moment? 

I don't want it to define my life - this 'goal weight' achievement, if anything it should be a step/path on a journey to life of healthy living - not the be all and end all.  I don't want to find myself at goal weight and falling back into old habits.  Hopefully all my new healthy habits will stick cause let me tell you old habits have a sneaky way of creeping up on you and taking hold. 

With each 'finish line' comes a sense of achievement and I cannot wait for my next one.  With every kilo lost the cycling gets easier and one day soon I'll be flying up those hills instead of struggling up them.  I even manage to make 'granny' gear look hard.

Today my focus is seeing beyond that 'finish line' - keeping the passion and continuing the journey because the journey should not have an end but always a beginning......